Who Am I?

I'm lost! I have gone through crazy things in the past few months and with the guidance of a certain someone I thought I was in a good place. I thought that I could trust in the Lord who is supposed to love us. I changed my degree plan because I tbought maybe it was a path where I could make great changes in people's lives like the great changes I thought were happening in my life. I thought I was happy and confident in myself in my job and marriage and in my duty as a mother to my kids. I had convinced myself that I was happy, I knew who I was, and I knew where I was going. In reality I was just trying to live in a world that isn't mine. A world where someone can be just happy every day and be so positive no matter what life throws at you. A world where there is such a perfect marriage you don't have to argue with someone. A world where a man can be the husband I wish I had. A world where you realize that the person you thought cared about you more than required but it turns out that it's just their job and it's the level of commitment they are willing to give to everyone because they are an amazing person that you could never measure up to so why are you even trying??? Why should you keep bothering him at this point? I don't know who I am. I don't know where I am going or what I want to do with my life. People say or you're young you have plenty of time to figure it out but the years just seem to slip by with no progress made. Two steps forward, a gagillion steps backwards. Never have I lived my life for myself. I lived it for my brother so he didn't get the bad attention from my parents. I lived it for Dan because I thought he loved me and he was a distraction from the shitty situation I was in at the time. I lived my life for Jason because he said he needed me because of his situation and post divorce. I lived my life for my kids because I brought them into existence they didn't ask to be here. Who Am I? I am all these different things. Mom, wife, Military, supervisor....... none of them feel like that's who I am. How do we develop a sense of identity? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Why are we born into existence? Why do we get up every day and keep going? And don't you get tired of trying for things that are probably never going to change? Because I'm tired of being tired.